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18 May 2011 @ 09:40 am
In A.D. 2011, war was beginning.  
WHO: 300,000 angry nerds and the Imports who fight them. Tag yourselves in, please!
WHERE: All around, but mostly near the Porter tower
WHEN: 7:30A May 18 - 3:13P May 20, 2011
WARNINGS: There is no fourth wall. Only Zuul. And violence. And probably bad language. And other things as well. JUST ASSUME THAT THIS LOG IS NOT FOR LIL'UNS.
SUMMARY: The Crabhammers declare war on the Porter and, to a lesser extent, the Imports. The battle lasts three days, is horrible in just about every way you can think of, and this is how it goes down.
FORMAT: However people wanna do it!

"There's no environment. Use your imagination. There's no fourth wall, whether it's the first time you've told this story about her life, or the sixth time."

Everything you need to know is here.

quick links to avoid crashy computers
in the fray
DAY ONE: 7:30 AM--10:00 AM (FIRST CHARGE, BROKEN TRAINS, TRAFFIC JAMS)
DAY ONE: 10:00 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, PUBLIC DISTURBANCES ELSEWHERE)
DAY ONE: 5:17 PM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, FIRES AND BOMBS ALL OVER)
DAY TWO: 1:00 AM -- 6:28 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY ENERGY DRINKS)
DAY TWO: 6:28 AM -- 12:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, PIRATING THE RADIO STATION)
DAY TWO: 12:00 PM -- 7:42 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, TOY RAIDS)
DAY TWO: 7:42 PM -- DAY THREE: 12:00 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY IMPORT-HATING REINFORCEMENTS)
DAY THREE: 12:01 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, HERE COMES THE CAVALRY)
DAY THREE: 6:45 AM -- 1:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, CREATE YOUR OWN INSANE LAST-DITCH GEEK TRICKS)
DAY THREE: 1:00 PM -- 3:13 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, THE MADAGASCARIAN TWENTY-GRAND HOLDOUT)
DAY THREE: 3:13 PM ONWARD (WAR OVER. TAKE PRISONERS, MAKE FRIENDS, GET HEALED, FALL ASLEEP, ETC)


not quite in the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)


fuck the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (FORGET THE BATTLE, I HAVE HBO)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (YOU LOSERS ARE STILL FIGHTING? IT'S AMERICAN IDOL TIME!)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (IF YOU'RE ALL BUSY ELSEWHERE I'M JUST GONNA GO ROB A BANK)
 
 
 
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: And then I POUNCE!
OPEN! rioting on 5th Avenue, near Midway Center
bluepurrymuffin on May 20th, 2011 05:04 am (UTC)
[Hank is clinging to a building's face, dodging thrown projectiles left and right, doing his best to rally bystanders to safety.

There's a young man with blond hair, skin painted blue and with large metal wings strapped to his back, shouting at him about how he was terrible to criticize Cyclops.
]

Listen, I don't know who this Matt Fraction fellows is, and frankly, I don't much care at the moment, either!
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Runa_relative_hero on May 20th, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC)
[It's shortly after the words leave Hank's mouth that a gold and black blur comes barreling into the man with the metal wings, hoping the weight keeps the Crabhammer from getting up easily. Houston slows down long enough to offer a smile to Hank.]

Hi. Need a hand?

[The goggle-wearing teen jumps as a bottle breaks on the ground next to him, quickly starting to evade projectiles as they come his way now too.]
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Big smile!bluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 05:04 am (UTC)
[Hank lets out a hearty laugh at the sight as he helps a young mother along.]

I would gladly welcome one! I certainly appreciate it.
If you can help the bystanders to safety, I'd happily enter the fray to buy you time.
Joel Weinberg/Houstona_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 05:09 am (UTC)
[Houston blurs out of sight a moment, suddenly holding a baseball bat when he settles. A few feet away there's a confused Crabhammer looking at his now empty hands. The teen nods and discards the bat.]

Got it. I'll get them somewhere safe. Nice to finally meet you in person by the way.

[He dashes again, picking up the nearest bystander and carrying them away to safety with his speed.
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Whoops! Must be careful here.bluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 05:42 am (UTC)
Likewise!

[Hank leaped in to the mob, doing his best to pacify the group without doing too much damage. Even so, he ends up juggling a couple on his feet and kicking them into their comrades.]
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Runa_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 05:51 am (UTC)
[Houston continued to zip in and out of the area, carrying bystanders to safety. A few times he had to dodge a blow swung his way but his powers helped evade. Once he had gotten just about all of them, he came running back again. This time the Crabhammers seemed to plan ahead, several distracting him with projectiles to avoid while another threw down a bag of marbles. Houston yelped as he tripped, windmilling his arms as he fell and slid into the side of a tipped over van.]

Ow.
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Excuse me?bluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
[Hank hopped to where Houston landed and picked up the van to use it as a barrier, pushing it against the advancing horde.]

You alright down there?
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Gather Couragea_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 05:06 pm (UTC)
[Houston got to his feet quickly, embarrassment clear on his face. He nodded and forced a small smile.]

Yeah. Costume's more protective than it looks. How many of these guys are there?
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: grumpy-grump gettin' grumpsbluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 08:06 pm (UTC)
[He has his shoulder braced against the van as the mob starts pushing against it, trying to flip it on top of him.]

Here, or City-wide? I counted approximately twenty-five a minute ago.
Joel Weinberg/Houstona_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Let's see if I can reduce those numbers a little.

[Houston zips his way over to the other side of the bus to start pulling members of the mob away and leaving them in dumpsters and trash cans in nearby alleys.]
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: This is UNTENABLE.bluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 08:25 pm (UTC)
I'll see if I can't scare the rest off!

[Hank took the opportunity to lift the thing up and swing it around. At the very least he could look as intimidating as possible!]
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Surprisea_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
Whoa...

[Houston stares as he watches the intimidation. A smile breaks out on his face.]

Okay, that is just awesome.
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Just wait till I unleash my master plan!bluepurrymuffin on May 21st, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
Want to see a real stunt?

[As the Crabhammers cower, Hank tosses the bus at them! The moment it leaves his hands, he's on all-fours, shooting past the retreating enemies and twisting and rolling just in time to catch the bus before it lands on them.

They gape.
He preens.
The bus creaks a bit on the edges.
]
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Drivinga_relative_hero on May 21st, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
[Houston grins as he watches the stunt, clapping when Hank catches the bus again.]

Awesome catch!
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: If you'll direct your attention here...bluepurrymuffin on May 22nd, 2011 05:41 am (UTC)
[Hank sets the bus down and takes a bow.]

Thank you, thank you!

[He looks back up at their Crabby audience and grins at them wickedly.]

Show's over. Go home.
Joel Weinberg/Houstona_relative_hero on May 22nd, 2011 06:15 am (UTC)
I'd listen to him if I were you. [Houston crosses his arms and tries to look intimidating as well.]
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Psssst!bluepurrymuffin on May 23rd, 2011 06:14 am (UTC)
[Hank whispers toward Houston as the mob scurries off.]

Do you think we should follow them to ensure they're really in full retreat, and not simply relocating their efforts?
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Look Backa_relative_hero on May 23rd, 2011 06:20 am (UTC)
[Houston blinks and whispers back.]

Maybe. Shouldn't we get a little back up though? In case we run right into their buddies?
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Can't be overly concerned at the moment!bluepurrymuffin on May 23rd, 2011 06:42 am (UTC)
Certainly not a bad idea! I'll contact a few colleagues.

[I know Spider-Man was showing up to help, but we decided to handwave his involvement to keep Skalja from getting bogged down in even more tags.]
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Drivinga_relative_hero on May 23rd, 2011 06:50 am (UTC)
Great. No telling how many of them there might be.

[S'ok.]
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Upside-down smile!bluepurrymuffin on May 24th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
[Hank hopped up on the side of a nearby building and glanced back down at Houston.]

Well, they'll be behind us shortly, what say we find out how many?

[And they ran off into the sunset?]
Joel Weinberg/Houston: Runa_relative_hero on May 24th, 2011 03:55 am (UTC)
[Houston smiled and nodded.]

Sounds good to me.

[Yes, into the sunset!]