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01 March 2011 @ 09:38 pm
I don't want to stay in love with my sorrow  
WHO:The Counselor and The Student
WHERE: Momiji's apartment at the MAC
WHEN: Earlier today?
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Hank goes to check on an absent student.
FORMAT: Para



Momiji, for once, wasn't scrambling to find a reason to stay away from his apartment. Ever since arrival, he'd made sure to never be home unless for sleeping and eating. Being alone had always been high on his list of things he hated. Even when he was still in elementary school, after his parents first left, he'd made up wild stories to make his cousins spend time with him. Sitting in Hatori's office, even with his connections to his mother, were preferable to playing by himself in an empty house. But now days, he couldn't get enough space to himself.

He hadn't been to school in the last few days and he spent most of his time at work wandering around the store with a lost expression. The few times he had attended class, he couldn't focus and still ended up behind. He knew his already shoddy grades would suffer, but he found himself hardly able to care.

Guilt had been eating a hole in his stomach ever since he returned from the hospital last Sunday. No matter what Darkrai said, Momiji felt the accident was entirely his fault. What if Darkrai had died trying to save him? The weight of the thought had been crushing him all week. And then he heard from Lyra about her attack. He'd spent all night worrying that she'd get hurt. Then came the bigger blow. Hearing his friend was dead was one thing, but seeing it? He couldn't take it.

Hospitals he could deal with, when you were part of the Sohma family you got used to spending time there. Death; Momiji wasn't sure anyone could get used to. Especially the death of one of the few people in the City he'd befriended. Someone who'd been helping him out so much; made this seem a little less scary. Bakura was gone, Lyra could still be in danger, and Darkrai was still recovering. It was too much to handle.

So he didn't. Like every other bad experience in his life, he ignored it. He sat in his living room and stared blankly at a TV screen, pretending that the stinging in his eyes was something other than the threat of tears.
 
 
 
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: I find myself brimming with thoughts.bluepurrymuffin on March 2nd, 2011 05:11 am (UTC)
Momiji's absence had been noted, and while he'd sent a student or two home to pass along his assignments to him over the past few days, Hank couldn't help but worry. He never liked seeing one of his students fall behind, and always felt personally responsible for seeing each of them through tough times.

He'd seen the accident over the Network, so he figured there were clearly bigger circumstances behind this, and it might be time to see to it himself.

And so, he found himself knocking on Momiji's door.
Momiji Sohma: I'm really surprisedwhatmuttiforgot on March 2nd, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
Momiji was confused by the knocking. He hadn't spoken to anyone about coming over, and anyone he knew that would visit was busy dealing with more important things. His only guess was that it was a neighbor, needing something. When he opened the door, he fully expected to see Lion-o or Jordan or one of the other MAC residents whom he only knew in passing. He was more than a little surprised to see one of his teachers standing at his door.

For a moment or so, he just stared. Then he remembered his manners, plastered on a smile, and stepped aside to let the man in. Momiji gave a quick swipe at his eyes just to be sure he didn't look a total mess. "Mr. McCoy, what are you doing here?"
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Hmm?bluepurrymuffin on March 3rd, 2011 06:15 am (UTC)
Hank held himself back from correcting the 'Mister' title. Certainly, he'd put a fair amount of time into earning his doctorate, but this was neither the time nor the place. He had a covered plate that he held delicately in both hands as he entered.

"Well, we've noticed your recent absences from class in the past week or two, and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Edited at 2011-03-03 06:16 am (UTC)
Momiji Sohma: Saddest story ever toldwhatmuttiforgot on March 3rd, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)
"O-oh?" The confusion and surprise didn't leave him, instead they grew exponentially. A teacher had actually care enough to come see him after an absence. He couldn't wrap his head around it.

Nervously he glanced aside and fiddled with his shirt. "Am I in trouble? I'm coming back. And soon! I just haven't felt well lately."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: It's really quite simple.bluepurrymuffin on March 3rd, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
His spread out his hands magnanimously. "Not at all, we're aware that you been going through...difficult times. It's more of a concern for your well-being than your attendance record that brings me here today."

He offers the covered plate to Momiji. "I even brought cookies."
Momiji Sohma: Serious facewhatmuttiforgot on March 3rd, 2011 11:02 pm (UTC)
"Oh, you saw that." Momiji didn't didn't bother stating what 'that' was. If the school was aware, it had to have been the accident.

"Thank you, you didn't need to do that." He took the plate, clutching tightly. He shuffled awkwardly, still looking mostly at the floor. He wanted to say that he was okay and there was no reason to worry. But while he was rather good at lying, Momiji didn't like doing it to people who were being kind. "I can deal with it."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Always hidden depths to consider...bluepurrymuffin on March 3rd, 2011 11:40 pm (UTC)
He clasped his hands in front of him and tilted his head. "Are you sure? If you need to talk to someone about things, that's why I'm here."
Momiji Sohma: A bittersweet smilewhatmuttiforgot on March 4th, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
Momiji put the plate down on the nearby table, walking a few steps to the living area. He smiled, a small smile but a genuine one none the less. "You know, you're the first adult who's ever said something like that."

"I've had bad things happen before. After a while, you learn how to make it go away."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoybluepurrymuffin on March 4th, 2011 07:55 am (UTC)
He looked at Momiji a little sadly. "Make them go away, or learn to bury them deeper, to desensitize yourself to them?"

Edited at 2011-03-04 07:55 am (UTC)
Momiji Sohma: Forgiveness for my own sakewhatmuttiforgot on March 5th, 2011 01:21 am (UTC)
Momiji didn't speak for several minutes. "Not really. No matter how many times some things happen, you just don't get used to it. It's still going to hurt."

"When something's your fault you have to be the person to deal with it. You can't put that on anyone else. I can't put this on anyone else." He was back to speaking of the accident.
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: I'd prefer not to talk about it.bluepurrymuffin on March 5th, 2011 01:54 am (UTC)
He considered this for a moment, with a frown. "And if it isn't your fault to begin with, yet you blame yourself for it anyway?"
Momiji Sohma: Agruing facewhatmuttiforgot on March 5th, 2011 02:03 am (UTC)
"But it usually is." He protested, kicking at the floor. "If I'd done things better, things wouldn't have turned out bad."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: Hmm?bluepurrymuffin on March 5th, 2011 02:44 am (UTC)
"And yet, there are still overpowering factors which you couldn't control. All too often you may have done things the best you could, yet the outcome remains unchanged." It was a situation he was all too familiar with, after all.

"I firmly believe that the blame for this does not rest on your shoulders, Momiji."
Momiji Sohma: Sad face foreverwhatmuttiforgot on March 5th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
"But I won't ever know if I could have changed them." He countered.

Momiji shook his head, arms coming up to wrap around his stomach. "I should have been paying more attention. Gotten out of the way, not needed saving. Then he wouldn't have gotten hurt."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: But there's more to it than that!bluepurrymuffin on March 5th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
"And what about the car?" he began. "Shouldn't the driver have been paying more attention as well? After all, when they're in the position to put someone else in danger, intentionally or not, shouldn't they have a proportionate amount of responsibility?"
Momiji Sohma: Agruing facewhatmuttiforgot on March 5th, 2011 10:43 pm (UTC)
"Well, yes. He shouldn't have left the accident and he shouldn't have been driving like that anyway." He started, voice rising a little. "But I was the one in the way. No one else should have been hurt but me! The driver is responsible but so am I."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoybluepurrymuffin on March 6th, 2011 01:15 am (UTC)
Hank was feeling a little impatient at this point, so he put an extra effort into speaking calmly and kindly. If he could feel patience, he should at least sound it. Nonetheless, he let out a small sigh. "I understand your frustration and the guilt you feel, I know it all too well. But you can't keep carrying this around with you! Your friend was hurt because he saved your life, yes, but I'd dare say he understood the risks when he did so."

He held out his hands, palms up, in almost a pleading gesture. "Think of it as a second chance. Your friend gave you further opportunity to do the very best you can with your time. While taking time to process these traumatic circumstances isn't unreasonable, I hope you'll be ready again when that time comes."
Momiji Sohma: this is my sexy lookwhatmuttiforgot on March 7th, 2011 05:23 am (UTC)
"I know that, logically. It's just hard to make my heart believe it." Momiji sighed, walking over to plop down in a chair.

"I get that I shouldn't be acting like this. That's part of why I'm so frustrated with myself. I'm grateful to, well, not be dead." He stressed. "This is just how things have always been dealt with for me. For everyone in my family. It's hard to not think like that."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: How disappointing!bluepurrymuffin on March 7th, 2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
"I understand how that can be, all too well actually," Hank said as he found himself a seat on the couch. "The important thing that I had to remember is that you can't really do this alone. There are people out there who care about you and only want to help, but that can only happen at your decision."
Momiji Sohmawhatmuttiforgot on March 8th, 2011 12:20 am (UTC)
"Here there are." He pointed out. "But I guess I should take advantage of having people care while I'm in the place."

He hesitated. "You like that when you were younger, too?"
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: What was I thinking?bluepurrymuffin on March 8th, 2011 01:23 am (UTC)
He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, staring at the wall to his side. "Perhaps to some degree, but never as strongly as I have been in my adult years. Especially the last few."

He met Momiji's eyes and smiled weakly. "I don't exactly have it all together myself, but I do know how hard it can be, and I try to use that knowledge to help others as I'm able."
Momiji Sohma: Serious facewhatmuttiforgot on March 8th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC)
"I'm sorry." He responded automatically. He frowned, watching Hank. "That you've been having a hard time."

"It's kind of you to do that. I'm sure everyone appreciates it. I do."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: I'm quite sure.bluepurrymuffin on March 8th, 2011 03:13 am (UTC)
"Oh, I'm sure I'll manage. I've made it this far, after all." He smiled a little more confidently now, maybe to counteract Momiji's frown. "But it's really no trouble. I'm aware that others need help just as much as I do, so there's no reason I can't try to provide it."
Momiji Sohma: A bittersweet smilewhatmuttiforgot on March 8th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
Momiji gave a slight smile, lacing his fingers together on his lap. He trained his eyes on his hands, expression still pleasant. "People would be much happier if everyone thought like that."
Dr. Henry Phillip McCoy: So it would seem.bluepurrymuffin on March 8th, 2011 04:03 am (UTC)
"It is true, certainly," he said, taking off his glasses to examine the lenses, "But it isn't within everyone's capacity, unfortunately, and many will need to take care of themselves before they can turn their attentions to others. There's certainly no shame in that, though a small bit of consideration doesn't hurt."
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